


He loves me not

by dhyxcks



Category: Monsta X
Genre: Angst, Chae Hyungwon-centric, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Suicide, Trigger Warnings, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11748828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhyxcks/pseuds/dhyxcks
Summary: He was doing it again.





	He loves me not

**Author's Note:**

> !!Trigger Warnings!!  
>  i promised myself that i would never write angst, yet here we are. this is my sleep deprived brain rambling. this is also unedited so sorry for any grammatical errors in here.

He was doing it again. The thing he always after performances or showcases. The thing where he just walks up to you and spends a whole five minutes making sure that you are okay, no injuries? Are you hungry? Tired? Five minutes of a blissful torture for Hyungwon. Five minutes of letting yourself believe that he cares for you as more than just a brother or a friend. Five minutes of heaven before he moves on to the next member to give them the same treatment, and it's suddenly like it never happened.

Hyungwon had gradually gotten used to the constant tug that he felt in his heart every time the older boy showed any kind of affection to him; so casually, as if it meant nothing. Sure, it was painful at first, but he learnt to live with it. There was no way to change other people's feelings, it was impossible. Hyungwon had accepted that already.

Everyday he sunk into a deeper depression. He barely spoke, barely ate, he hadn't had a full nights sleep in weeks. The other members noticed, they tried to help, but nothing they did worked and Hyungwon just kept sinking. He carried on as normal though, putting on a fake smile for the fans, pretending he wasn't hurting more and more with each day. 

But, of course, everything has a end. The end to this love story takes place on a gloomy Tuesday afternoon. Hyungwon arrived back at the dorm after he finished his solo schedules, he was ready to just flop onto his bunk and rest. He wandered into the kitchen, to grab a glass of water, and felt his entire world shatter around him. There, pressed against the counter, was the love of his life, passionately lip-locking with Hyungwon's second favourite hyung, too immersed in each other to notice his presence. 

One of the two, Hyungwon wasn't sure which at this point, let out a breathy moan and Hyungwon was thrown back into reality. He sprung into action, span around and ran. He ran and ran and ran, out of the dorm, into the lit-up streets of Seoul. In his dazed state he had no control over where his legs were taking him and eventually found himself on a bridge.

He took a shaky step forwards, and another one up, onto the barrier, the only thing separating him from the icy waters beneath him. 

He didn't feel betrayed, Hoseok didn't know, it wasn't his fault. Hyungwon only blamed himself, for being naive and stupid enough to believe that his feeling would have been returned. Hyungwon was the only one at fault here. He should've known. He should've known that Kihyun would never love him back. 

And, without stopping to think about the consequences. He jumps.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I'm really sorry. That wasn't where i was expecting in to go when I started this.  
> Please don't do what hyungwon did!! You need to eat and sleep and, preferably, be alive and living. Stay safe guys.
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/dhyxcks) | [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/dhyxcks)


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